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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Deeper Still

by Lew-C

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lyrics

Wish I could take the time to take my mind off what's inside
I've tried to quit a dozen times before
Wish I could make it stick but stuck here fucked up on quick fixes
I fixate on what I'm dying for
Wish I could bring myself to be the things I love and need
So I didn't have to hate myself and put myself through hell
Now at last the past is catching up, but the present isn't good enough
To seize the day; it's easier to fail

I wrote myself this song to sing my worries away
But all the words got caught in my throat
So I'll call myself a hypocrite to hide from the blame
For all the things I haven't let go

Wish I could catch my breath instead of choking on excess
Of everything I never knew I'd never need before right now
I've tried to wish the things I do were leading up to something bigger, better:
Twice the pride before I hit the ground
Oh I wish I knew how to be free, when it seems like living's killing me
Despite my open mind still find I'm blinded by a darkness
So I wish upon my stars to sink me deeper in the heart that keeps me here
And trust the tears I shed won't drown me in the end

I wrote myself these songs to sing my worries away
But every time I find I've misspoke
So disregard my words I only write in cliches
To hide behind a truth I don't know

If only the answers weren't so simple think I'd find:
Holding on to the changing of the chapters of your life
Will only hold you back from happy endings every time
So go on to be all the things you're intending to be
Stop pretending you're anything else
Learning to love is the art of being one's self

credits

released June 29, 2023

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about

Lew-C Scotland, UK

Hey! I'm Lew, a non-binary creative from Scotland, who writes theatrical and electronic pop songs. I also make surreal homemade music videos (link in the link). Whatever brought you here, I hope you can listen and enjoy!

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PS - If you're here looking for my D&D soundtrack work, it's still here! Check for releases in my discography under 'Lewis Clarke'
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