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Enduring Illusions & The Art of Being One's Self

by Lew-C

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Raine Clarke
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1.
The Art of Being One's Self 00:54
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As within, so without As above, so below By grace I may become myself And by love my Self made whole Behold my enduring illusions For this is the art of being one's self
2.
Bad Business 02:18
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You see me on UC - in HD: juicy! - make beats at home. I send my CV say 'come see me' when I'd rather be alone You ask my market plan, but you don't understand: what it's worth - for what it's worth - depreciates my art, man! Oh my god, I can't believe that all this time I worked for free. Making priceless luxuries to stay behind a screen. Bad Business! Can I get a witness (please) to call up to the stand? Don't tell me I'm not working when my work is in demand. Bad Business! It's a sickness to the language of the heart. Is there a doctor in the house to save a dying art? Salut! I'll do value, shall do whatever it takes. Compensating for creating: do the art that money makes. 'Cause I can do pop, I can do drops, I can do bits where the beats just stop. Don't tell my supervisor but my symphony's a synthesiser. And it goes like this: Oh my god, I can't believe that all this time I worked for free. Making priceless luxuries to displayed behind a screen. Bad Business! Can I get a witness (objection) to call up to the stand? Don't tell me I'm not working when my work is in demand. Bad Business! It's a sickness to the language of the heart. Is there a doctor in the house to save a dying art? Do you hear it now? Bad Business! Can I get a witness (please!) to call up to the stand? Don't tell me I'm not working when my work is in demand. Bad Business! It's a sickness to the language of the heart. Is there a doctor in the house to save a dying art? [Do you hear it now?]
3.
CYBERBABY 03:04
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RGB Colour me pink; what you gonna think when I speak my mind? OSD How I feel when you are nearby (standby) LAN I see your screen, I scream when I realise that RAM Remember again that this is pretend What a shock I got when you shut me down When I failed to connect (error: page not found) I'm powerless, out on a line I'm alone I'm a 1 and an 0; no 2 in my code Hello operator, can I get an oscillator? Cause the data says I'm waiting for a little control I'll be your simulator or I'll see you 'simulater', When my core runs hot I get cold Now get down to the sound of the SAW wave Try to forget myself and go crazy Just unplug; not looking for love But the beat in the bits of my circuits Are getting the best of me CYBERBABY Can't unplug from digital love Let's reboot It turns me on when you talk like that Execute You're killin' me, overclocked out to the rhythms you're giving me CPU You process my process: my program for success is progress And I need you I got enough ROM for the two of us What a shock I got when you shut me down When I failed to connect (error: page not found) I'm powerless, out on a line I'm alone I'm a 1 and an 0; no 2 in my code Hello operator, can I get an oscillator? Cause the data says I'm waiting for a little control I'll be your simulator or I'll see you 'simulater', When my core runs hot I get cold (Brr!) Now get down to the sound of the SAW wave Try to forget myself and go crazy Just unplug; not looking for love But the beat in the bits of my circuits Are getting the best of me CYBERBABY Can't unplug from digital love Just dance! 01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101 01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101 Just dance! 01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101 01001100 01001111 01010110 01000101 Now get down to the sound of the SAW wave Try to forget myself and go crazy Just unplug; not looking for love But the beat in the bits of my circuits Are getting the best of me CYBERBABY Can't unplug from digital love
4.
superego 03:40
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Got big bad beats Cause I’m a villain on the scene I’m a lion with the sheep I put my name up on the screen With the bass turned loud And a big new sound You’re coming up I break it down (You’re coming up I break it down) Cause I’m flawless to a fault I break the bank you break my fall You’re breaking up, I take the call I call it off because I’m reeling From an ego trip That’s what we call it in the biz I’m dizzy sipping on this fizz Y’know I tell it like it is Big talk Got a lotta big talk Big talk What a lotta big talk Whatever you know we know I follow my superego Wherever you go we go I follow my — (boom boom) Get up I know you’re better than this Grow up I know you’re bigger than this Glow up I know you’re ready for this Don’t give up Take it louder! Louder!’ Whatever you know we know I follow my superego Wherever you go we go I follow my heart Suit up I’m all about superego Shut up Forget about good and evil Shoot up I’ve met my superhero Suck up The name is superego ‘Lew-C, the superego is a core concept of Freudian psychoanalysis, not some comic book character. It is the part of the psyche that suppresses your most base urges, and although it is clear that yours is unhealthily lax, Sigmund would be rolling in his grave if he heard this!’ Put large in charge Cause I know bigger’s better I’m a giant in my field I’m dropping bars, you feel the tremors? Got no equal, like I’m golden Every sequel I get bolder Call my bluff, see what I’m holdin’ Heard enough? (Already told em) I’m the OG MC Enby Every rhyme I make’s the envy Of the GOD who sent me Packing punchlines like a heavy With a ha ha ha You say you get me All I hear is blah blah blah Ready the coupe de graçe Whatever you know we know I follow my superego Wherever you go we go I follow my — (boom boom) Get up I know you’re better than this Grow up I know you’re bigger than this Glow up I know you’re ready for this Don’t give up Take it louder! Louder! Whatever you know we know I follow my superego Wherever you go we go I follow my heart Suit up I’m all about superego Shut up Forget about good and evil Shoot up I’ve met my superhero Suck up The name is superego
5.
This Way 03:04
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I hold my hand out in the sun from the shade I fill my lungs to bring a haze to soothe me I was making conversation But I'm overcomplicating the fractions in my head My actions are unbalancing - - The answers to the sums I do to try and find Some peace of mind Only static's coming through All the channels that I turn to I'm reading in between the grey lines I don't know (I dunno) I don't know what I'm s'posed to do (no clue!) When things don't go so good I get blue Like I always do I don't know I don't know what I'm s'posed to say When things ain't looking great I make mistakes Why does it have to be this way? You wanna wonder what I'm wondering about? Or why I'm wandering about the city? Just drowning out the white noise Tryna make my choice But the problem is the problem solving's simpler when I'm on my own So don't talk to me When silence speaks volumes I'll call you No signal on the cell When I'm signalling myself Needs some space from the pace of the new I don't know (I dunno) I don't know what I'm s'posed to do (no clue!) When things don't go so good I get blue (so blue!) Like I always do I don't know I don't know what I'm s'posed to say When things don't go so great I make mistakes Why does it have to be this way? Oh can't you see the irony in change? Who's to say that your brains not to blame? All the names of the games are the same And can't you feel the apathy in shame? You sick and tired of waking up and baking up? [Yup!] I shake it up I shake it off I take it up I'll break it off Now bring it back, get back on track today Carpe Diem like la la la la la Seize the day It doesn't have to be this way! I don't know (I dunno) I don't know what I'm s'posed to do (no clue!) When things don't go so good I get blue (So blue!) Like I always do I don't know I don't know what I'm s'posed to say When things ain't looking great I make mistakes Why does it have to be this way?
6.
What's Cool? 01:57
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You left me on read last night But I know that that's fine Mind if I check what time we said that we'd call? What's cool to you? I have a hard time keeping up When the things I do, don't seem to do What's new with you? You know I wanna know what's up? Try as I might, I don't impress you I can see you're online Perhaps we could play some time I need to know, what's your sign? Cause I'm starstruck; all out of luck tryna catch your eye What's cool to you? I have a hard time keeping up When the things I do, don't seem to do What's new with you? You know I wanna know what's up? Try as I might, I don't impress... (Bridge) When first impressions got me stressing Dressing to impress, I question: Who you fooling? Who you schooling? Do you know what cool is? 'I try my bestest but my interests aren't that interesting' Reset yourself Respect yourself Accept yourself What's cool is you? Woo! I worry that I get it wrong (I worry that I get it wrong) That I come off too strong (I feel I'm coming off too strong) Is this text too long? (Hmm, a little bit) Does this sound like a lovesong? What's cool to you? I have a hard time keeping up When the things I do, don't seem to do What's new with you? You know I wanna know what's up? Try as I might, I don't impress you
7.
Lost to the Opposite 03:47
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Memory, oh why do you come for me Then run from me? Like a melody, heard in a dream When I wake can't recreate a single beat Every scene, reremembered differently so distantly Oh what I've seen scares me to death, I take a breath and count to three (1,2,3) All of the leaves are turning brown Cold feet, breathe deep, make the leap Get ready to leave me in the ground 6ft, don't weep, I need sleep I'm all out of reasons I should wait Clear the haze, brighter days, ándale The change in the seasons came to late Wake up! Don't you see? That's not me, Its just a dream but I know I'm the one who gave it to myself I can't rest, oh wicked jest! Is this a test? Do I have to find a way to save myself? An end is nigh, from what I have seen tonight Behind closed eyes No pretend this time But drawn from my mind (I'm out of my mind!) An afterthought: that I am a stopping clock No aftershock tick tock Big talk can only dig a deeper grave Can't dream myself a spade Its fate; no escape All of the leaves are turning brown I gotta go, I tried to grow, it's too slow (yo!) Get ready to leave me in the ground Out of beats, now deceased, rest in peace I'm all out of reasons I should wait Clear the haze, brighter days, ándale The change in the seasons came to late Don't you see? That's not me, Its just a dream but I know I'm the one who gave it to myself I can't rest, oh wicked jest! Is this a test? Do I have to find a way to save myself? You say that seeing is believing But I got a funny feeling That a man upon the ceiling Ain't all we can believe Innocence, lost to the opposite So who d'you think is control? When the credits start to roll See your name in every role Playing body, mind, and soul Significance, lost to the opposite With the setting of the sun Two minds become one You want an answer to this sum The melody has yet to come Dissonance, lost to the opposite The melody has just begun (Turn it up!) Now I see this is me It's all a dream When I go, fade to black come back as someone else Now I rest I took the test I've been my best, and learned that You're the one to save you from yourself Don't you see? That's not me, Its just a dream but I know I'm the one who gave it to myself I can't rest, oh wicked jest! Is this a test? Now I think I've found a way to save myself
8.
Space Race 02:38
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How much money will it take me to get to the moon? No pain No gain (So true) Cause the man on TV told me: Health is wealth And space is cool (literally) Oh my God I’m delirious Seems like the world is ending Oh my God, do you think it’s serious? I can’t tell if I’m pretending You’ll regret the bed you’ve made In your brain In your veins I'd break sweat in all that fame All that blame It's such a shame The days go by I think it’s time for a change And I watch the sky It’s a little bit Strange Scream if you wanna go faster! Aaaaah! Smile! Put the pedal to the floor Are you ready for the time of your life Cause dyings far too slow (slow!) Dream big if you got the cash for it Gosh darn it, I’m still sitting here waiting on the end of the world But living means watching it burn This is a revelation Bzzt We're bringing it back round Ready for touchdown Let’s all welcome the heroes Back to ground 0 ‘I’d trade it all for a pic with Jeff Bezos’ I thought that we could hang out But turns out he don’t hang around (what?) When you come down to earth, you best be down to earth I know my worth, say it out loud You better pace yourself You better brace yourself You better go out with a bang or erase yourself The silver from all of my clouds line your pockets choking on smoke from your rocket Scream if you wanna go faster! Aaaaah! Smile! Put the pedal to the floor Are you ready for the time of your life Cause dyings far too slow (slow!) Dream big if you got the cash for it Gosh darn it, I’m still sitting here waiting on the end of the world But living means watching it burn This is a revelation One small step for man... [Can you guys believe this?] ...One giant leap [wow!] for mankind Boys boys boys (quit it) Big money won't buy my silence But your brand new toys are making me jealous This may contain violence, Ouch! Pain is the name of the game So hit me like I'm paying for it 'Love it or your money back' Is all you've got to say for it? I'm like pfft, relax Accidents happen Fire in the cockpit Time to abandon ship We've been hit! Yeah, no shit detective, Violate the Amazon Prime Directive Now scream if you wanna go faster! Aaaaah! Smile! Put the pedal to the floor Are you ready for the time of your life Cause dyings far too slow (slow!) Dream big if you got the cash for it Gosh darn it, I’m still sitting here waiting on the end of the world But living means watching it burn This is a revelation
9.
mindf*ck 02:31
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My bodies not ya business I won’t let you dismiss this Cause I can’t feign indifference When an issue is of interest (Bleh) It’s a symptom of the sickness: Systems which insist to misfit Consist of inconsistence You ask me what the difference is? (I’ll tell ya) The courts adjourned but hasn’t listened to the witnesses So many instances Of our existences But you resist it Your commitment to your cisness is… A mindfuck It’s a mindfuck But you’ll get it in the end What? Turn it up It’s a mindfuck LLLladies and gentlemen Your protests are irrelevant I enter the room and I address the elephant Your sentiment is evident You try to sound intelligent But filled the globe with phobes In your bid to stay relevant So I defy what you deny And testify Every time I justify How I identify I’m louder than words, That’s my only confession So when I change my name You’ll forgive my transgression Cause it’s a mind fuck It’s a mindfuck But you’ll get it in the end It’s a mindfuck What? Turn it up It’s a mind fuck But it will get you in the end I can only show you the door; you’re the one who has to walk through it All it takes to blow ya dome Is two letters and a full stop So stop pretending it’s my chromosomes And Listen up You question my essence My sex ain’t a reference Context for your sentence Mx is my preference So cut the drama mama See the diorama: I’m breaking up ya binaries To pave the way come—a You’re looking to future As your archetypes decay But if you’re too afraid to ask Then ‘I’d rather not say’ Cause it’s a mind fuck It’s a mindfuck But you’ll get it in the end It’s a mindfuck What? Turn it up It’s a mind fuck But we will get you in the end
10.
omg 03:42
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Half the days I wish it were a dream, I'd wake up and I'd scream - But then forget that night. Except I find instead that I am - Living in a world beyond my means And despite what it seems I know the road is only growing longer 'Oh', my soul sings Oh my God, I've forgotten how to pray (I gently whisper) Oh my God, then clasp my hands and wait for a sign, To see the light, or some comfort to explain Why - oh my god - I'm enduring these illusions every day Once upon a time I heard that love Was all you needed, but - You had to complicate it with these rules that you've created Jesus wept when he heard boys don't cry It makes me wonder why you think that God is dead If God is dead, then who am I? Oh my God, I've forgotten how to pray (I gently whisper) Oh my God, then clasp my hands and wait for a sign, To see the light, or some comfort through this pain Cause - oh my god - I'm enduring these illusions every day Every day I watch the seasons change I'm learning life is stranger than we thought it was And holding on's a losing causing I'm ready to believe in finding faith If such a fall from grace should kill me, thy will be done But let God forgive what I become Oh my God, I've forgotten how to pray (I gently whisper) Oh my God, then clasp my hands and wait for a sign, To see the light, or do I call out in vain? For, oh my God, the illusions I'm enduring will remain
11.
The Things in Between 03:53
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[ No matter how much we magnified it - until the original was bigger than the entire universe - we would still see new patterns, images, emerging; this is really infinity! ] It got boring, just soaring So I made my way across the galaxy To find the space and time to learn to breathe And for all my intention it got the best of me When I became myself and learned to speak All the years that I have feared that I've been losing my mind Held questions for the answers found inside And now I'm here I find it's clear to see No words can describe How it feels to feel a feeling through your eyes I can't keep my eyes off the time When I'm running out of words that mean the things I need to say I gotta get this off my chest Put it to bed so I can rest But the messages get lost along the way It doesn't have to be like that Every day's another chance To think about the things that you believe You don't have to be like me For us both to live free Just me, you, and the things in between [ Such things that can be magnified forever - that have infinite precision - do exist. But they're not touchable. ] It's so lonely, if only... We could stretch across realities And feel beyond the edges of our means So I look inward toward what Will be the death of me To help the changes seem less strange and rest in peace Every doorway holds more ways To explore the mystery When the windows to your soul can't find the key And every tower you tear down To satisfy your dreams Will pave the path you walk down to be free I can't keep my eyes off the time When I'm running out of words that mean the things I need to say I gotta get this off my chest Put it to bed so I can rest But the messages get lost along the way It doesn't have to be like that Every day's another chance To think about the things that you believe You don't have to be like me For us both to live free Just me, you, and the things in between No when I look up toward the mirror on my ceiling And see the things of which I am a part I hear you loud and clear It's still music to my ears I've learned to love how distance makes the heart It doesn't have to be like that Every day's another chance To think about the things that you believe (What do you believe?) You don't have to be like me For us both to live free Just me, you, and the things in between
12.
Showstopper 02:55
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[ Lew-C, can you confirm the rumours? Is it all over for you? ] It took 3 years, now im back at the beginning Still a bad business, but still chillin They say Lew’s giving up the dream: ‘Puff too much green Dont make enough green’ It’s just a smokescreen I’m just joking I’ve still got more, see? Ha! Go tell em I’m back One more left in the tank Keep your heartbeats up like Crank Got OG rhythms - so dank - but Not enough G’s in the bank Another shot At the top I top it off Like I said I would Choppin off deadweight Deadwood, float away, You’re dead to me Driftwood Too many little fish in the pond It’s my 25th time round the sun Nothing new, I stay young Nothing new till it’s done I rise to the occasion I was made in Innovating Inhalations my Motivation to Keep creating I’m done waiting But it’s not enough they love the stuff I do Say fake it till you’re making money too I’m above it, puffing on the proof Now I can’t afford to lose Showstopper Yeah This is a reality check 1 2, 1 2 Wake up it ain’t over yet Showstopper No I don’t break a sweat Ima no-show with no regrets Cause you ain’t seen nothing yet No I don’t have the time for a 9-5 Spend it on my vibe Spend it on my mind Instead of on the grind I’ve been living life I’ve been getting by I’ve been getting high Keep forgetting why People tell me I should take it live (I don’t wanna) Everybody’s telling me I should play shows Cause why write tunes that nobody knows? They say Lew-C’s lazy but baby I’m on it I stay prolific; I stay iconic You think my musics for the profit? I’m a pro, friend or foe, my flows stay honest I speak in proverbs: prose like a prophet I’m unproductive? That’s ironic I shouldn’t let it get in my head (but it does) When I’m waking n baking n taking the bus They’re cutting my credit, I misread the letters said better start making some bucks But I don’t give a fuck Im’a roll up Til I throw up Real grown up When I grow up I wanna be bigger than ever so never say never cause I know what I know is enough Spent too long looking for a masterpiece Stepping up, setting up catastrophes Set the bar for the stars shooting after me So when I fall, I give it all, like you asked of me Written in the language of the heart The ways to make and pull yourself apart Distance makes me fonder of the dark Life’s a picture of your art Showstopper Yeah This is a reality check 1 2, 1 2 Wake up it ain’t over yet Showstopper No I don’t break a sweat Ima no-show with no regrets Cause you ain’t seen nothing yet

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3 years in the making, 'Enduring Illusions & The Art of Being One's Self' tells the story of my queer awakening, my journey with spirituality, and the wisdom I've found along the way.

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released April 1, 2023

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Lew-C Scotland, UK

Hey! I'm Lew, a non-binary creative from Scotland, who writes theatrical and electronic pop songs. I also make surreal homemade music videos (link in the link). Whatever brought you here, I hope you can listen and enjoy!

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PS - If you're here looking for my D&D soundtrack work, it's still here! Check for releases in my discography under 'Lewis Clarke' ... more

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